1995 BANNED FROM UTOPIA US TOUR T-SHIRT UNWORN- LARGE FRANK ZAPPA BAND MEMBERS

Description

1995 - BANNED FROM UTOPIA { BRUCE FOWLER - TOM FOWLER - TOMMY MARS - ED MANN - ARTHUR BARROW - IKE WILLIS - CHAD WACKERMAN - ROBERT MARTIN - KUK MCGETTRICK - JAY DITTAMO } - ORIGINAL US TOUR T-SHIRT - OBTAINED AT THE OCTOBER 31ST 1995 HALLOWEEN SHOW AT THE BIRCHMIRE, IN ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA AND NEVER WORN { READ MY REVIEW OF THE SHOW IN T'MERSHI DUWEEN ZAPPA FANZINE ISSUE #48 IF YOU CAN FIND A COPY }
- FRUIT OF THE LOOM 50% COTTON - 50% POLYESTER - MADE IN THE U.S.A. - APPROXIMATELY 21 INCHES FROM ARM PIT TO ARM PIT AND 26 INCHES LONG - IT'S ONLY LARGE
SO IF ANYBODY IN THE PAST YEAR HAS SCREAMED "HEY FAT BOY" TO TRY GETTING YOUR ATTENTION, IT MIGHT NOT FIT.
NOW IN THE CASE OF FEMALES 18 TO 40, WHO WEIGHT 160 LBS OR LESS AND HAVE NEVER BEEN FEATURED ON THE COVER AND / OR CENTERFOLD OF OINK MAGAZINE: IF AFTER PURCHASING THIS T-SHIRT YOU FEEL IT'S JUST TOO TIGHT AROUND THE CHEST: FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO'D LOVE TO MEET YOU. BUT HERE'S WHAT YEZ SHOULD DO: {1} PUT THE SHIRT ON. {2} POUR WATER ON THE FRONT. {3}TAKE A PHOTO. {4} NOW REMOVE THE SHIRT, STICK EM' OUT AND TAKE ANOTHER PHOTO. {5} THEN SEND ME THE PHOTOS AND I'LL TELL YA' IF YOU LOOK BETTER WITH OR WITHOUT IT ON - CHECK IT OUT
"THE PRESENT DAY DYER REFUSES TO COMPOSE" - REV. A. WEST IN THE YEAR OF THE PLAGUE.
A COOL LOOKING T-SHIRT OBTAINED AT THE 1995 BANNED FROM UTOPIA HALLOWEEN CONCERT AT THE BIRCHMERE, IN ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA AND NEVER WORN. IT'S BEEN HANGING ON A HANGER IN A CLOSET FOR A WHILE, AND HAS JUST COME OUT, SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WASH THAT THING. WOULD LOOK GREAT,  SPECIALLY ON AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WITH FIRM UPLIFTED MAMMALIAN PROTUBERANCES, WHICH WOULD LOOK REALLY HOT.
ALSO
I CAN
TELL YEZ THAT WHILE I'VE HAD IT,
NONE OF THE ROACHES OR RATS THAT INFEST THIS AREA HAD EVER MADE A NEST IN IT. HEY, I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY ROACHES AROUND HERE FOR A WHILE NOW, I THINK THE RATS MUST'A ATE EM'. BUT HERE'S WHAT I'LL DO, I'LL BE SURE TO SHAKE THE PACKAGE REAL GOOD BEFORE I SEND YEZ THE SHIRT, JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT NONE OF EM' HAD CRAWLED IN THERE WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING. OK LARRY?
.00 FOR PRIORITY MAIL SHIPPING IN THE USA.
.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO CANADA.
.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO JAPAN AND AUSTRALIA.
.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANY OTHER LOCATION IN THE WORLD.
CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART { DON VAN VLIET R.I.P. 2010 } AND THE MAGIC BAND, TIM BUCKLEY { CROAKED }, STEVE VAI, WILD MAN FISCHER { CROAKED TOO I HEARD }, ALICE COOPER { LOOKS LIKE HE CROAKED, BUT HASN'T YET } PLUS PLENTY OF OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK BANDS SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND, BULL ANGUS, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, NEKTAR, KING CRIMSON, PINK FLOYD, JIMI HENDRIX AND MANY OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE.
WELL LARRY, SINCE YEZ OBVIOUSLY HAVE VERY LITTLE BETTER TO DO, WHY NOT ROLL RIGHT UP TO THE TOP OF THIS PAGE AND TRY, YES TRY TO SQUEEZE YOUR ENORMOUS BUTTOCKS INSIDE OF MY E-BAY STORE? SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. BUT BE ADVISED, IT'S TIGHT IN THERE!!!! FULL OF RARE 'N EXCITING FRANK ZAPPA AND RELATED ITEMS. SO PERHAPS YEZ JUST MIGHT WANNA TAKE A LITTLE GREASE IN THERE WITH YOU IN THE EVENT THAT YOU GET STUCK, SO THAT I WON'T HAVE TO CONTACT THE EMERGENCY CYBER-SPACE RESCUE UNIT TO HAVE TO GO IN THERE AND PRY YOUR CAVERNOUS BEHIND OUT WITH THEIR DIGITAL CROWBAR. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?